Whenever I see photos or videos of you with your friends or family drinking wine, talking to each other in French, I feel insecure that maybe I will not fit in.
I just wanted to do thousands of cartwheels and backward somersaults. I wanted to scream like a little girl who just saw her crush pass by and smiled at her. It was like… it was my birthday.
I don’t know when and I am not sure if I’ll ever be a really happy person… But what I can assure you of, you make me happy, I want to be happy and I am working on being happy.
I love you
I want you to feel that I care for you and I wish I could make you feel that way in this lifetime. I don’t know if it’s possible but I hope it is.
I miss being with you and I hope that you do too. Let’s see each other again, at least in our dreams… for now.
I don’t want to be alone but it feels like I deserve to be alone. I want to love but it feels like I don’t know how to. I want to not give up but I don’t even know what am I holding on to.
Maybe I didn’t even realise that I am a scarecrow. I scare you away even if I think I’m not doing anything wrong. 😦
05 September 2016 Dear R, You just asked me again for the link to my blog. I don’t know if this is the right choice but I think I’ll be sending you the link. x, R
…I’ll have to bear the thought that there is something alien in my body, and I cannot un-think that.
“Je” FUCKING “T’aime”!!!!!!!
Maybe I am just too ambitious that I imagine that if we become a couple, you would introduce me to your family and then maybe they will like me and then I will have a big family again.