19 March 2017 Dear R, Tomorrow would be the first year of the day when I first met you. Today I am waiting in front of the arrivals area of the airport… To see you again. You surprised me by telling me that instead of going straight to Australia, you’re stopping by the Philippines. So…
Whenever I see photos or videos of you with your friends or family drinking wine, talking to each other in French, I feel insecure that maybe I will not fit in.
I know that writing this letter could be pointless, but nevertheless I wanted to give it a shot. It’s not like I’d be arrested for something like this. hahahaha
I still don’t know how to talk to you about what you’ve said yesterday, I hope you’re not worried that you made me sad. No, you didn’t… in fact, I am even more in love with you.
I just wanted to do thousands of cartwheels and backward somersaults. I wanted to scream like a little girl who just saw her crush pass by and smiled at her. It was like… it was my birthday.
I don’t know when and I am not sure if I’ll ever be a really happy person… But what I can assure you of, you make me happy, I want to be happy and I am working on being happy.
I love you
I miss being with you and I hope that you do too. Let’s see each other again, at least in our dreams… for now.
…I’ll have to bear the thought that there is something alien in my body, and I cannot un-think that.
I am alone and I am starting to feel a bit nervous about this test. I don’t want to see any lump/s or anything abnormal anywhere. I just want to be healthy.
“Je” FUCKING “T’aime”!!!!!!!
Maybe I am just too ambitious that I imagine that if we become a couple, you would introduce me to your family and then maybe they will like me and then I will have a big family again.