14 September 2016
So I got a call from you today. It seemed normal tonight. Maybe I feel better too that’s why it feels like more normal again. We didn’t really talk that long but I enjoyed our conversation. It wasn’t a deep conversation but I guess I was just really excited talking to you. I missed talking to you. Although I also miss seeing your face… I wish you called me on skype instead but oh well… you were outside and a voice call is probably the best one we could have tonight.
I think I felt a lot better now because I was watching a romantic comedy before you called. hahahaha maybe it made me remember how you were to me… how we were when you were here. I know I’m being fictional right now. Maybe I should regulate myself when it comes to watching such movies. Sorry, this is my addiction – romantic comedy films. I remembered how you held my hand. It felt really nice. It felt comfortable and secure. It was one of the best feelings in the world and I haven’t felt this for a long time. This feeling that someone is there to protect me and keep me warm. I also remembered how you used to be kissing my hand while holding it. It was one of the sweetest feelings in this world. It felt like I am cared for and wanted. It felt a lot better when I remember how you looked at me when you do that… I felt appreciated. You know that your eyes and how you looked at me makes my heart skip a beat. It made me feel giddy… actually the thought of it always makes me feel giddy. And then I remembered your kisses. Surreal. The look in your eyes that makes me feel that you like me a lot. The look that makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful creature in this world. I might have assumed before (and maybe I got it all wrong) but you’ve got this magic in you that made me light-headed. You don’t really care about where and when we kiss, even whoever sees us and I have been foolish that I was conscious about those things (most of the time) and it was my biggest regrets in my life. Now I wish I have more memories of those moments with you.
I am craving for more memories, I am craving for you. I do want to be with you again not only for a bit but for a long time. I am greedy, I know. I hope you don’t mind my being greedy for my happiness. I want to create more memories, the kind that gives me this kind of happiness whenever I think about you. I want to be given that chance to finally be really happy again. I wonder how you feel about me. We’ve known each other for almost 6 months but we’ve been away from each other for 2 months… I don’t really have much hold on to you when it comes to quantity but I am quite happy with the quality of time that we’ve spent with each other. I know it’s not as deep as with your longtime friends but I can’t really compare it with them so I just hope that what we had and have means something to you. I hold on to that thought because it’s what I have with you.
I miss being with you and I hope that you do too. Let’s see each other again, at least in our dreams… for now. Goodnight. I love you.