Subject: The Results

05 September 2016

 

Dear R,

 

So we’ve talked about the results, it was right after the ultrasound that I was able to tell you what the doctor has seen but the blood chem result, I told you about it 2 days ago.

 

During the ultrasound, the doctor showed me cysts on my breasts, yes breasts. The lump on my left is a cluster of cysts. On my right boob, there were tiny cysts too. To be honest, even up to now, the sound of the word “cyst” still makes me uncomfortable. The doctor told me that I shouldn’t really worry about it. She mentioned that the chance of it becoming cancerous is only 1%. It kind of removed my anxiety but then, I feel weird about my body ever since. Like, there’s something abnormal and it’s in me. The doctor told me that I could have it removed or not. I think it’s not necessary but I’ll have to bear the thought that there is something alien in my body, and I cannot un-think that. Still, I feel thankful that nothing serious was found. I had 2 days of  worrying after it, and that’s for the waiting game for my blood chem results. When I got it on Saturday, all I saw was the “glucose” level. I was expecting more but then the Med Tech told me that it was the only one tested because it was an FBS. I was a bit frustrated but then I was thankful that I’m within the normal range.

 

It felt like I was given second life. I am thankful for that but I know that I have to eat healthier and I know I still suck at it. It made me think though that maybe God will finally let me live a normal life that I wish to have. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I will be deserving of that life and I will keep on reaching for that kind of life.

 

Would you want that life with me? I hope so.

 

x,

R

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