Subject: Movie Night

Dear R,

Going home wasn’t really a bad idea. That was what we’re meant to do because you asked to be hosted for a few days since you’re staying in the city. I had no plans of sleeping yet so I told you that I’m going to watch a movie and that you could go upstairs and sleep in the room where you’ll be staying in. But you didn’t. You were too comfortable lying on the couch, the very couch where I was planning to sit on while watching a movie. I guess you were too tired and lazy. So, I asked you if you could give me some space to sit on and you did, although it was quite a small space just above your head. Now this one’s a bad idea.

Since you were there watching with me, I had to consider which movie would interest you but unfortunately, the movies I had were really lousy ones. We began to check each movie and watched them until we decide that it’s not interesting or entertaining enough. Suddenly I felt you slowly lying near my legs. And deep inside, I began to panic. I thought to myself… this guy is getting too close. Close enough for me to start building my walls. So I grabbed one of the throw pillows and placed it slowly and suavely underneath your head. You had no reaction and I thought, “Oh good, now I’m safe.” We continued watching whatever boring movie it was and from time to time, we gave commentaries and we talked about other things too but slowly and suavely, I could feel the pillow slipping away and your head resting on my lap AGAIN. Now I don’t know which is more suave, my move or yours. So I’ve tried putting the pillow back to its place and you were cooperative… until I suddenly felt your fingers lightly touched my arm. I would have freaked out if it felt creepy but it was otherwise. It was pleasantly sweet. I have not let a man, moreover a new acquaintance get too close for the past years… but you… I don’t know what’s in you but I was starting to complicate how I was feeling. I’ve tried to find a way to discourage whatever is happening but a part of me was enjoying it. I wanted to slap myself to remind myself that I don’t let such things happen to me. A few more minutes of small and sweet movements… and a number of attempts to discourage you, you sat up and faced me and started getting closer. Your beautiful face right in front of me, your sexy blue eyes looking straight to mine while giving me that McDreamy smile… (Gaaaahd, I’m in trouble). This guy is about to kiss me… then the defensive side of me quickly placed the palm of my hand on your face. It was a mean and funny move but I had to do it. I don’t kiss just any guy, I only kiss a boyfriend. You just laughed at what I did to you and asked me why I did that. I told you that I don’t do such thing just with any guy. I told you that I only kiss a boyfriend and “you’re not my boyfriend.” You smiled and slowly tried to kiss me again. This time, I covered my face with both of my hands. Even if I couldn’t see you, I could hear you smiling. Then you asked me, “but why?” And again, I had to tell you the same thing, “I don’t do this.” You’ve tried to carefully remove my hands away from my face but I was trying my best to keep it. And you just kept on asking why and I kept on saying the same reason. But at the back of my mind, I had my own argument with myself. I was trying to stop you from kissing me but a part of me wants to be kissed by you. The latter won and gave in. But nobody lost, the kiss was magical. After almost 4 years of not having kissed by someone, it felt like it was my real first kiss.

I don’t know how you made me feel that I want to kiss you, but I’m glad you had that power over me. It was a crazy thing for me but I don’t regret it. I don’t do such thing but I did it with you, and it’s going to be a memory that will always give me a smile whenever it crosses my mind. That first kiss of ours… was followed by another one and several more. You got me addicted and I know, I’ve become your drug too because it was too impossible for us to stop wanting those kisses.

(as you always put it in your messages) Bisous.

x,

R

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